In the moment of sleep

In the moment of sleep our mind, seeking efficiency, pushes memories tectonically against one another seeking meaningful overlap. Sequence gives way to a surface of clustered thoughts but deeper a bedrock of personal connectedness.

White guy being profiled

Ok, like Obama here is my story. I was riding in my van (read as drug mobile from a cop perspective) in Tiburon, one of the whitest cities in Marin county. I was with my wife to go see a movie. Driving into town with my long hair I was pulled over by a Tiburon cop who said I was driving too close. We saw no cars ahead of us or behind us since we left the freeway on our way into Tiburon central. I remembered the badge number of the cop and wrote a letter of complaint to the local paper stating that I was in good standing with white Marin because my other car was a Volvo. No response! After parking in a lot that I now hoped was legal for the movie I saw the same cop ignore a BMW parked illegally in front of the theater (because he was special and probably a short haired white). Needless to say, my white anger was extremely elevated. Just imagine if I were black! And then, I was an expert witness for the Fogerty Warner Bros copyright trial in San Francisco and while staying in the Hilton on a $1000.00 a day fee (I was the cheapest expert witness at the trial) I decided to look around before going to court. My long hair and leather coat must have been the problem. I decided to look at the cool leather wear in the hotel shop. I was followed around the store by a clerk who ultimately told me that the store was not open to the public--it was a private showing as I was ushered out of the store. In both cases I was incredibly angry. But I am white! I so understand the sadness and defeat felt by the African American community. If this can happen to me with all my white privilege what chance does someone who is "other" have?

I can't believe that there has not been a new post to this blog this year! So.... I don't have a lot to say but I am still passionate about the state of affairs in all things political. I don't watch as much political news (more discerning not less interested). I just cannot believe that there are so many politicos so willing to show their intellectual short comings to a national audience. I also am having a lot of trouble sympathizing with red states who are being blasted with natural disasters. How can two tornadoes large than any in history within two weeks not be a symptom of climate change? Really?

SCOREBOARD BABY! I am so glad that lying did not become the new campaign strategy.

Focal Length

I am a fan of the Chris Hayes "Up" show on MSNBC. I've realized that what I like is that I have actually seen panelists change their minds on the show and one of the reasons, I think, is that the show constantly changes focal length on issues. The panelists offer input that does not allow the participants to set one focal length (immediate myopic issues vs. more gestalt perspectives) that tends to generate naive notions. I've even altered my own stance on issues. I guess I'm a wuss.

Poll on Polls

Discovering Home

Home is the sensation of relief.

I have had a truly incredible summer of travel and escapades.  Starting with a road trip with the Razor Babes to San Francisco, then a solo return trip to the bay area for a visit and a wedding, then off to Chicago for the Jump Rhythm Jazz Project week long work shop, followed shortly by a fantastic honeymoon in the Northern Pacific (Oregon and Washington specifically) and finally a flight across "the pond" to Germany and Switzerland for more touring and yet another wedding.

It was great.
...
I am spent!

But, this is a good thing, a great thing, because now I want to be NOWHERE else be right here in the Kubocha Cottage (our affectionate name of our little house-- details later). 

Traveling is an excellent opportunity to discover the preciousness of your daily, average life. Travel is exciting and of course I appreciate all of the different views I have seen this summer: over cities, oceans, the alps!  But, travel for me often feels like I have been frozen in time.  It serves for me as an incubation period during which I am suspended from completing my everyday tasks and thus making "progress".  Travel forces me to step back and just observe.  And, as many of you know, observing the self is often uncomfortable.  It is energetically taxing and at times frustrating, irritating, and depressing to take the time to shed light on the dark and forgotten corners of the soul, sweep them out and suffer the dust cloud that follows. But, there is no better place to do exactly that than on an 11 hour flight home from Frankfurt.  

All of the waiting time, in lines, for take off, for check in, for check out, at train stations, in a car...  All of that time is incubating time.  It feels like I truly hibernated this summer, not because I closed myself in doors, but because I divorced myself from my sense of identity in the things I do at home, namely, teaching dance, choreographing, going to yoga, going to the gym, eating at certain restaurants, taking walks...  the details are not what's important. The challenge is that we become what we do, and we start to deeply identify ourselves by our habits and our practices.  Of course in the Buddhist sense we are none of this.  We are indefinite and these aspects of life are just details.

But, through our life we can gain insight and peace if we choose. Travel is just thing thing to shake up the routine, to help you question who you are and discover you are not your daily run around schedule.  I have been reminded that I choose the routines in my life and they can be deeply satisfying and rewarding.  But, being home is not about being on autopilot.  Being home is the place where the real work needs to happen. 

I am glad to be home.